Sobriety

90 days since I gave up alcohol 😱

First 90 days of sobriety is know as the most significant as it impacts our major organs. Quitting alcohol may also help to loose weight, improve physical health, improve your skin condition, reduce anxiety & many many more.

Intro: I tried alcohol when I was very young (not proud of it) and straight away it gave me a level of confidence, that I felt I would have never gotten without it. I was a very shy, blushing anxious child when growing up, although I always wanted to be able to open up, to share my thoughts and opinions, to say when something didn’t feel quite right, stand for myself and others when necessary, especially in a different language. But often I just kept it to myself and to be honest it was devastating. Alcohol helped to get rid of fear and anxiety to a pretty good level I thought. During my 16-19s, I really wanted to integrate into Estonian society, make friends and get to know people who I thought were significant at that time (well known skaters and musicians), and I think I quite succeeded in that.

Hanging out with “significant Estonians” was not just cool, but also interesting, because their lives were completely different from mine. They were very stylish, well dressed and good looking. Most of them seemed easy going and quite simple, and while we were hanging out together, it felt like we were all equal. We didn’t think about our culture difference or who our parents were or actually my parents, because their parents were well known. Moreover, I had a job since I was 16 and therefore I didn’t feel any social inequality as most of the times I had money to pay for my drink, and sometimes even buy drinks for others, those “wealthy friends.” I cannot complaint about that time, it was fun. It also gave me a lot of freedom and opportunity to get to know different people and their cultures, which affected my personality development a lot in a very good way I think. My close mates included Estonians, Jews, Latvians, Russians and Americans and we were all friends, and we were all drinking. I must say I wasn’t drinking more than others, we all were capable of drinking a lot and until the morning or even lunch time next day, and few days in a row. But even then (realising now) I had some concerns about the amount.

When I moved to the UK in 2010, alcohol had helped me to well integrate here too. FYI I have never drunk on a daily basis or had drinking bouts, but I am one of those who would often wait for working day to end to have a glass of wine or a weekend to have a bottle, or find any other excuse (stressful day) to have a drink. For quite a few years I had been doing breaks like sober October and then February (shortest month of the year = hence the easiest), but in all honesty those were not helping as they were tough and full of cravings. Since I had a child, I generally reduced my alcohol consumption a lot due to not going out as much and being constantly tired and sleepless. However every time I had an opportunity to go out, I wanted to fit a weekly recommended limit of 14 units per week or even more into one night.

14 units = 6 pints of average-strength beer or 10 small glasses of lower-strength wine.

Recently also found out how strong alcohol marketing is. Every now and then we see hilarious memes about tired mamas drinking gigantic glasses of wine as a way to relax and get away from parenthood routine, or funny videos of wasted girlfriends falling down into a bush with the message “if our friendship is not that, I don’t want it” and there are many more. These are very catchy and can affect our brain and generate an intention to drink, even if we didn’t plan to.


I always believed that I love my drink, so just quitting alcohol itself is a big thing for me. As it turns out, I have been thinking about it for years, but tbh never thought it would be possible. I am glad i was wrong. 90 days may not sound long, but it is bloody big thing (scientifically after first 90 days our brain gets used to not drinking and it should get much easier going forward)! I cannot remember myself not drinking AT ALL for so long apart from time when i was a child or during my pregnancy. 

My PROS :

  • no hangover
  • started to drive more often, which helps me to build confidence on a road 
  • significantly reduced anxiety 
  • skin is a bit better, although i am not certain as I might be just a bit euphoric 😂
  • i lost some weight BUT it’s mainly down to intermittent fasting & cutting down on desserts 😝
  • better sleep
  • mental health is generally much better

My CONS :

  • i have no cravings which is a huge SURPRISE (God bless variety of zero beer), but i miss my good old friend Red wine 🍷 
  • I cannot stay up till late & I don’t like energy drinks. I have been to few parties & at around midnight all i wanted was to get in bed 🥱

One of the big worries in the past, when i was just thinking about an idea going sober, was a fear to become isolated by friends & not being able to make new ones due to becoming a complete introvert. But so far, i have been able to hang out with friends without a change & leaving my introvert at home. Also, i realised, that since i became a parent, isolation is no longer a problem. 

Any questions, please ask:) I’ll probably answer the most important one right away – do I consider this a temporary condition or have I said goodbye to alcohol forever? I do not know what will happen to me or to this world tomorrow. At the moment I feel great and enjoy my new life. Also, I feel absolutely comfortable around alcohol and people that do drink.